Special or New

If I manage to reach the age of 94, I am presently at “middle age”. Half way lived is my life.

All well and good. This next half is surely going to be very different than the first. As my mind, body, and even spirt are changing — as they did the first half.

Unfortunately in some aspects they will be in decline.

I’m not racing for the bottom or end, mind you, just a recognition of what does take place to us.

Even though I am 50% through (and of course it could be much different of a percentage than that given we have no idea how much time we have left), my son who is 10, is hopefully only around 10%.

As a 10 year old the focus is on the new; experiences, lessons, gains and even some losses -learning, doing, achieving……And because it’s all still so new, everything is nearly special. He is on the rise versus the descend. Nothing but a climb for a good many years.

For me however, where should my focus be? Having reached that part of my life where I may have very certainly done some things for the last time already, never to be there again, should I be seeking special or new?

Heavy thought.

On the one hand it could be thought that if you’re not seeking new, you’re certainly not growing, and certainly on the decline.

On the other, if I were to only stay focused on the new, I’d not have time to be involved in the special moments. I miss something awesome if I were out hunting bears in Russia because I’d never done it.

That’s drastic thought to consider that there is only time to wait around for something special to happen and the new stuff has to pass me up. And why can’t new be special?

For example I’ve never been to Italy; so that would be both special and new because I’d likely not have time to go back unless I moved there or never went anywhere else. I’ve never done ball room dancing; that would be both.

I guess the real answer is to go with now and not worry too much about what’s ahead? At least don’t obsess. I’m good at worrying about what’s not happened yet, and then regrets when something fails to come to pass when I arrive.

Sure I some planning is needed. Preparations. But in the midst of all that. I could miss both the special and the new.